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Build Your Self Esteem, A Starter Guide to Self Improvement

Quote of the Day

"One of the biggest things in business is to open yourself up for change.”

Jay Z


buid self esteem guide

Learning to Like Myself

I had always heard that saying about no one else liking you if you aren't even someone who likes themselves. I had thought about it for some time, and I thought I liked myself pretty well. After all, how could you not like someone? Well, it turns out, about a year ago I discovered I didn't like myself at all.

It wasn't obvious. I seemed to have a good job, I had friends and I seemed like I was doing well. It was just a feeling inside. I am not sure how to describe how I was feeling, except to say that I knew I wasn't happy, and I was starting to feel disappointed in myself. I wasn't really the kind of person who went around patting themselves on the back, but I knew that something had to change.

As I kept thinking about it, I saw some symptoms that I was not a fan of myself. For starters, I realized how much I was drinking. I wasn't drinking every day, but I had one to two glasses of beer every day. That is supposed to be on the normal side of alcohol consumption, but when I noticed how my body was dependent on it when I didn't have wine, I knew I had to cut down. Soothing myself with beer, to me, meant that I had trouble dealing with my life.

I realized that whenever I thought about how I was feeling,I would always hear my mother's critical voice in my head. My father, never satisfied with anything, was a big part of my life. Over time I started to see that I was living for him, and that my opinion of myself was based on him, not on me.

Now that I had some idea of what was going on with me, I made sure to put a plan in place to change some things. I knew I had to replace the negative thoughts from my father with positive thoughts from myself, so that was where I started. Every time I thought something negative about myself, I would think the opposite. Create A Better You Your 7 days program to Self Improvement

I didn't jump straight to saying "I love myself!" because that would have felt fake. I just softened things a little bit. For instance, if I thought "I am terrible at my job" I would then think "but there are some things i do right". For the first time in my life, I started to look for things that I did right, and to acknowledge my own efforts. It was a strange thing to do, since I hadn't done it before, but as time went buy I started to feel better and better.


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What exactly is Personal Development?

Striving to make ourselves better, while thought of as new age, actually dates to ancient history. There are multiple societies that spoke of developing oneself as the only true vocation in life and that philosophy (knowing more about oneself and the universe), was the best way to live a more fulfilling life.

As we look into the history of personal development, it may have been called by other names such as, "virtues", or "moral character", or within the Christian era, "ethics."

No matter where we find the roots of personal development, whether it is in ancient Greece, or more recently in the teachings of Benjamin Franklin, where he created possibly the first self-improvement course, we discussed over 13 weeks, with each week focusing on a particular characteristic of personal development.

The traits that he spoke of are as follows…

  • To practice self-control and exercise discipline, then to use these traits as a means of improving the individual…
  • Quiet yourself and listen: Become a better listener, and exercise silence…
  • Maintain order: Arranging our lives in an orderly fashion, and not procrastinate…
  • Work ethic: Putting forth your best effort daily…
  • Money/Time: Understand how we spend our time and money…
  • Work: Learn to work and play hard, striving to bring a smile to others…
  • Do unto Others: Always treat others, the way you yourself would like to be treated
  • Small Steps: to look at life with moderation, and to avoid extremes…
  • Cleanliness both inside and outside: To be clean in body mind and spirit…
  • Peace: Live life at peace, enjoying the beauty that surrounds us…
  • Serve others: no matter your station in life, take the time to help others in need…
  • Humbleness: realize that we are all equal in the face of the Almighty…
  • Honesty: Strive always to speak the truth both yourself and those you come in contact with.

While this is simply a brief example, of what one of America's historic figures offered, personal development is not a destination but a path you should walk.

Personal development should become ingrained in every part of our lives, both physically, mentally, and spiritually. Life is a continual movement from birth to death, and along that path we should always strive to move ourselves forward, to become better people, and to never settle, but always strive for excellence.

We live in a fast-paced world, with deadlines to keep an bills to pay, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that we are physical as well as spiritual beings, and to truly be fulfilled we should not put one in front of the other, rather seek excellence for them both.

Personal development, which could be measured by setting and reaching goals, can be thought of as a measurement of our success in life. It does not matter whether we seek the summit Mount Everest, or simply to walk to a neighboring hill, rather it is the setting of our sight upon that goal, then walking steadily forward infielders reached.

We should seek both short-term and long-term goals, which short term goals being achievable, which offers fuel to our very essence, allowing us the strength and motivation to move forward. Do you often ask yourself the following questions: Where do i start?
I get this question all the time.

I am stuck in a rut.
Where do i start?

I want to start a business.
Where do i start?

I want to develop my full potential.
Where do I Start?

My dream is so BIG.
Where do I start??

When God puts a big dream or project in front of you to do, your only responsibility is to JUST START. God does not give you the strength and resources before you start. He provides them to you once you start. Have faith in your actions.
Working for and by yourself has become synonymous with a “freedom lifestyle,” but the truth is solopreneurship has its share of challenges, many of which other small-business owners may never face. Here is the most common and how to meet them head on.


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There is an Importance of Isolation

Become the master of your own destiny, and all the anxieties and limitations of a traditional office job fade away into a sea of opportunity. When you start making money, that feeling only grows.

But eventually, things start to lose their shine. The freedom you once loved starts to seem terrifying, and the sea of opportunity turns into a sea of missed opportunities. You’ve started burning out.

So how do you prevent that burn out? How do you keep your once-loved career from turning into a slog?

The water cooler is a lonely place for a Solopreneur. Without employees and co-workers, you not only miss out on the latest must-see-TV chatter, you lack the sounding board to help you develop ideas, work through challenges, and just get time and space away from work. You can fill this void by developing a strong network. Make sure you’re connecting with other solopreneurs and small-business owners on your chosen social media channels, and make an effort to get out to a couple of networking events each year. More frequently, get out of the office with a friend or colleague for some coffee and conversation. Take Time Off.When you worked a regular job, you likely didn’t have to check email on the weekends or deal with clients until you came in on Monday morning. There was a strict divide between work and home. But it can be easy to burn the candle at both ends when you’re the only one running the show.

This can be especially helpful if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed. Even doing mindless tasks, like mowing the lawn or cleaning the attic, can boost productivity. You might find yourself having an epiphany while you’re loading the dishwasher. Next time you feel the need to pull an all-nighter or reach for your phone during family game night, let go and focus on enjoying yourself.


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Learning How To Negotiate In Difficult Circumstances

No matter how hard you try, sooner or later you will find yourself in a situation of having to iron out a difficult situation. This can be scary, but fortunately with the right tools in place, you can make your way through and come to a solution that will work for all concerned. Read on to learn more.

The first thing you should remember when heading into negotiations is to look on the bright side. If you start out upbeat, you will be far more likely to come out with a satisfactory result. Remember that in negotiations, it is better to strive for all parties concerned to come to a mutual agreement.

It’s best to meet in person in neutral territory. Avoid meeting in the other person’s office or in your own. Instead, choose a place that has no associations for anyone. If you are not able to meet to negotiate, use an online option that will still allow you to see and hear each other. Do not try to negotiate by e-mail. This is a recipe for catastrophe.

Be sure you completely understand the issues at hand and are prepared to discuss them calmly and intelligently. Start out your meeting with a clear definition of the problem and the matters that need to be addressed. In this way, everyone will be on the same page. Be sure your negotiations are about the facts at hand, and do not let your emotions get the better of you.

Assess yourself honestly. Be willing to accept responsibility for ways in which you may have contributed to the problem. In your mind, establish some clear parameters in regards to the outcome of the negotiations. For example, there may be some areas that you simply must have satisfied and others where you could be more flexible. Be clear on this from the outset.

Keep a forward motion. Focus on finding solutions and creating alternatives rather than dwelling on mistakes and wrongs in the past. Completely sidestep laying blame. Simply start where you are and focus on improving the situation and solving the problem as it currently stands.

Avoid maneuvering and manipulating. Communicate transparently by simply and honestly presenting your concerns and goals. Recognize areas where your concerns and goals are the same as or similar to those of the other party. This recognition of commonality will help you work together for a successful resolution.

Put yourself in the other person’s place. Try to empathize and understand the person’s motivations. Be sure to listen carefully and seek out areas where you can selectively agree. Be certain you understand by rephrasing the other person’s statements. Remember you are trying to move toward resolution together. You are not simply trying to win.

When you have arrived at a mutually agreeable solution, congratulate yourselves on your hard work. Shake hands on your agreement and leave your meeting with a sense of renewed friendship or partnership. Remember to carry this success forward in all of your dealings with this person and others.


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Being Kind To Yourself: My Short Guide

A lot of people don't realize how important it is to be kind to yourself. They think it a silly, immature notion, but they don't realize that being kind to yourself is one of the best things you can do in your life.

Think about it, you are probably not that kind to yourself when you are in deep thought. At least once this week, you may have called yourself an idiot, fat, crazy or some other negative adjective. And the truth is this: when we are not comfortable with ourselves, no one else is going to be comfortable with us either. That is why it is absolutely imperative for you to make sure that you are being kind and gentle with yourself. Here are some tips to help you to do that.

First, monitor the thoughts you are thinking. Everyone is unkind to themselves sometimes, but you have to think seriously about how you talk to yourself on a regular basis. When is the last time you thought something nice about yourself? If you're like a lot of people, you simply cannot remember. That is unfortunate.

Make a conscious effort to have more positive self-talk. This sounds very strange, but it works: start with an "I love you" in the morning to yourself in the mirror. It seems silly at first, but over time, you will find that it feels more comfortable to you to say that. You will find that you are happier over time, as well.

Do something you like to do each day. All of us get caught up with problems and work and life, that many times we don't get to do something we enjoy for days or weeks. Treat yourself like you would treat anyone you care about, and allow yourself one fun thing every day. It doesn't have to last a long time, but make room for it each day in your life.

Make sure that you surround yourself with like-minded people. Don't spend time with people who tear you down. That will put your mind on a path it doesn't need to be on. Keep your mind positive by spending time with positive people who are kind to you.

Start a notebook and write in it good things about yourself. People are reluctant to compliment themselves, lest they seem conceited, but it's a good idea to go down the list of your virtues every now and then. Writing them down is a helpful thing to do, so when you feel that you're a mess, you can simply look back over the notebook and see that you are fantastic.

You might be out of practice being kind to yourself, but the suggestions in this article are going to hopefully help you if you put them in practice. It is important that you take the time to try each of these tips. Even if you get just a little relief from life by being good to yourself, it's worth it.


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How To Keep Your Emotions In Check During Changing Times

Lots of people have problems with change, yet change is just about the only thing you can count on. No matter whether you are an employee, a boss, a parent, a teacher, a student or some combination of these personal descriptions, sooner or later you will have to deal with change. Chances are, you will be dealing with change on a regular, ongoing basis in any walk of life. Luckily, there are specific steps you can take to keep yourself on an even keel in changing times. Read on to learn more.

If you are a parent, a teacher, an employer or team leader, it is important that you set a good example for others by responding appropriately to change. Always look for the silver lining in changes, and avoid knee-jerk reactions. Focus on responding to change in a flexible manner rather than reacting against it.

People are often stressed out by changes, and this can create negative group dynamics. If you are in possession of special knowledge about the coming changes, be sure to share your information with others in your school, work group or family in a positive way. If the changes will cause more work or added responsibilities for yourself and others, think of ways you can help each other out and make the most of the situation.

Stay positive. If you feel resentful or fearful about the change, take some time to think your feelings through and identify the most positive aspects of the situation. Avoid negative thinking and pessimistic inner talk. Instead, focus on the positives of the situation and help yourself make the most of it.

Understand that if you have concerns, others around you probably do too. It is alright to discuss your concerns as long as you do not spread fear and anxiety. Instead, discuss your concerns as a way of brainstorming for good ideas that will help everyone adjust and move forward.

Approach changes in your personal life and your work life with the mind of a child. In other words, look for aspects of changes with which you are unfamiliar and view them as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than as a burden.

In work situations, organizations and schools changes often come in the form of new people in positions of authority. In families these days, new people of all sorts may be added. New spouses, parents and siblings are a common occurrence in today’s world. If your changes consist of a big shift in group composition and dynamics, be sure to stay open and positive, avoid judgments and expect the best.

Being friendly and interested will go a long way toward helping yourself and those around you weather this sort of stressful change. If these changes are occurring within your workplace, school or organization, be sure to make the most of any resources at hand, such as mentoring, counseling and so on.

Change can be frightening and stressful; however, when you remember that, no matter who you are, you set an example to others, you are sure to want to show yourself in your best light. When you do this, you also benefit yourself with your mature, thoughtful behavior. Follow the tips presented here to handle change successfully in any situation.



Today´s Big Guide


So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you.  So which dart pins should you avoid?


Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment

Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned.  Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is. The Art Of Personal Development in 7 Steps

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment

You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience

It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View

Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to bea mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change  changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline.  Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement. Check out Be a Mr. Self Development and Download your Practical and Motivational Guide here.<< 

Tap on the Cover – Stay Calm even in the most Stressful Situation.

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